Astounding Language

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 10, 2002

I told my daughter I didn’t think my daughter-in-law paid enough attention to her oldest son, 8. He has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, is on Ritalin, and lately has been kicking and hitting little kids.

My daughter and I had a falling out, and she told my daughter-in-law what I said. My daughter-in-law was furious. I tried to explain that I did not call her a bad mother. Well, you can imagine what happened. We haven’t spoken in a week. Do I let time take care of this, or do I send her the letter I wrote trying to explain myself?

I am very family oriented and, most of the time, pretty direct. Probably to a fault. My daughter and I are not speaking either, so at this point I am estranged from both girls, and my four grandsons. By the way, I am 57 and divorced.

Selma

Selma, you shouldn’t be surprised by your daughter’s actions. As she grew up, how many times did she watch you make statements about others when they were not around? This time the person not present happened to be you. You fashioned your own punishment.

The statement you made about your daughter-in-law accomplished nothing. It was nothing but criticism. It wasn’t said to aid or assist. She is dealing with a difficult problem which medication helps but doesn’t cure, and you offered no solution.

Now you are estranged from your daughter, daughter-in-law, their husbands, and your grandchildren. Is this what you want? Doesn’t it indicate a need to look within yourself for a solution? Someday you may finally say something that an apology won’t fix.

It is never too late to admit we have more to learn. If family is what you value, then redefine your role within the family. Your role is not to speak whatever thought crosses your mind. Your role is to love, care, and help. If what you are thinking doesn’t do one of those three things, don’t say it or do it.

It will be easier to get past this if the other family members believe you are going to make a true change. But if you apologize and don’t change, that will make your apology worthless. The others will say, “She wasn’t really sorry. She’s at it again.”

Revise the letter to your daughter-in-law, then send it. Strive to be the person admired by your family as the one they can trust to help them when possible, the one who maintains a confidence when she can’t help, and the one who loves them always.

Alice Roosevelt Longworth said, “If you can’t say anything good about someone, sit right here beside me.” It’s a clever line, and criticism makes us feel superior to others, but there is always a price to be paid.

Wayne & Tamara

Backlash

I’m 17 and have been going out with my girlfriend for five months. She has a lot of male friends, about eight close ones, and she is very outgoing. I completely trust her, but I get really mad when I see her talking to other guys.

My jealousy is tearing our relationship apart, and we’re going to break up for a couple of days so she can think about things. I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I need help fast.

Steve

Steve, jealousy is about ownership and control, snooping and suspicion. It has nothing to do with love. You cannot get love by grasping too tightly. The only way you can get it is by giving another the opportunity and freedom to show they love you.

Jealousy puts a damper on a relationship from both directions. One grasps, the other wants to flee. Grasping accuses another of doing something wrong, and they will seek to escape. When someone loves you, a tight grasp is not required.

Wayne & Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

Astrology is not a modern invention dating back only a few years, it dates back as far as recorded history and has fascinated man ever since.

Astrology is essentially about the interaction between the Planets, the various Signs of the zodiac and how they shape our personalities.

The relationships between all these inputs and their interactions are based on mathematics, and Astrology is the study of these mathematical cycles.

The forces between the planets involved in Astrology can be summed up in one word: Gravity.

The Sun has the greatest gravity and the strongest effect in Astrology, followed by the Moon. The other Planets are not true satellites of the Earth like the Moon, but, their gravity still affects the Earth.

The Sun controls the Earth’s motion and the Moon controls its tides, but the other Planets have their own effects on the Earth and on the people who live under their influence - This is the basic theory behind Astrology.

Astrology can be understood as a philosophy that helps to explain life, rather than a type of mysticism that can be used as a predictive tool.

Instead of focusing on what the Planets do to us, we can understand ourselves better based on planetary indications.
Astrology binds all of us together:

We are all faced with planetary interactions in some shape or form, and we are all part of these planetary cycles.

The Horoscope and Its Uses

The horoscope is a map that is shown as a two dimensional chart.
It shows the position of the Sun, the Moon, and planets at the exact moment of your birth. The planets are frozen in their position at this precise time. The horoscope is sometimes referred to therefore as the birth chart or the natal chart.

A correct interpretation of your birth position can reveal much about your personality.

Horoscopes are not predictive as stated, they do not suggest that your life has already been decided. You of course have freedom of choice in life, but your horoscope does reflect your natural inclinations in relation to your personality traits.

An understanding of these can therefore shed light on the lessons you can learn from life, the issues you face, and the problems that you need to confront and solve.

It merely shows as an abstract formula - The personality you are born with.

The use that you make of your personality traits, will, depend
upon you and the actions you decide to take.

Astrology can provide you with a greater understanding of your life, but it doesn’t provide clear cut answers to all problems which you may have to confront.

However, obtaining information about your horoscope may give you some insights and understanding into the reasons why you behave the way you do and how you can adapt and change your behavior, to lead a happier life and more fulfilling life.

You can of course, also study other people’s horoscopes to gain a greater understanding of their personalities and understand why they act and behave the way that they do.

Horoscope’s in conclusion allows you to more clearly understand and accept your personality and do the best you can with your natural attributes.

Just as importantly, it can help you understand the motivations and actions of others that influence your life.

How Does a Horoscope Work?

As we have seen the horoscope is a “psychological map” which shows certain patterns of our personalities.

In order to be able to make sense of this map, we need to know how it is made up.

Your astrological chart, or horoscope as stated , is drawn from calculations based upon your exact date, time, and place of birth.

Every element of the horoscope, is expressed symbolically. Each symbol in the chart represents a celestial body, sign, house or aspect.

Your chart can be analyzed and the patterns and factors which influence your personality can be revealed.

The mathematical processes involved in formulating horoscopes have been translated into computer programs today and are easy for anyone to interpret.

An astrologer however, still needs to know how to complete the calculation, even if they have been used a computer.

Your horoscope is a map of the heavens at the time of your birth, and is usually drawn as an Earth-centered (or, geocentric) map showing the planetary positions as seen from your place of birth.
Some astrologers also draw Sun-centered (or, heliocentric) maps.

The geocentric premise, however, is that since you were born on the Earth, and the focus is on you, an Earth-centered map reveals a lot about your personality and motivation. The 360-degree circle upon which this chart is drawn represents you as a complete person.

Picture a line dissecting the circle into top and bottom halves.
This line represents the horizon at the time and place you were born, the planets, the Sun, and Moon are then drawn in circle.

Those bodies falling above the line were above the horizon when you were born, those below the line are the opposite, they were below the horizon when you were born.

The circle is then divided into twelve segments, called houses; the first house falls just below the horizon line on the left side of the chart.

The twelve signs of the zodiac lie on the dividing lines, or cusps, on the border of each of the houses.

The sign on the left horizon are called the ascendant ,or your rising sign. This changes about every two hours, so time of birth is extremely important!

Symbols for the Sun, Moon, and planets then all appear upon the chart, as do those for the Nodes of the Moon, asteroids etc. Some of the houses in your chart may be empty, but each house is connected to a planetary influence, even if it does not contain a planet.

The above then gives you a complete overview of your personality, your strengths and weaknesses and your natural direction in life.
Discover What Astrology Can Do For You.

An astrology report reveals who we are, where we come from and what our main strengths and weaknesses are. Astrology can also help us understand what is expected from and what we can achieve in this lifetime.

Gaining a greater insight about ourselves, can help us to change our direction in life and as a consequence lead a more fulfilling and happier life.

For more on astrology

And other alternative thoughts to gain a greater understanding of oursleves visit:

http://www.net-planet.org/newage.html

What is relaxation?

In common terminology, relaxation means that we leave ourselves free of tension. Relaxing mind may mean that the mind is not under stress or active. In today’s lifestyle, this looks difficult. Isn’t it?
Now a days, most of us believe to be being under stress during most of the week and relax only on the weekends. This is considered the common way of life. Is this the right way of living? Is living a relaxed life all the time not our right? Let us reclaim it.

Bad stress -

If you ask anyone that why is he/she under stress most of the week, what answer do you expect to get? I have so much work to do, deadlines to meet, tasks to be completed, prepare for the new launch etc. Don’t you think that something like this will be the response?

Let us discuss why most of us are stressed all the time.
At some time in our life, while we are chasing the dreams we lose our habit of sitting back and reflecting. We begin giving auto responses. If we are held up in a traffic jam, our response is - either to worry about the work ahead, or blame the system or some such negative thought. Not many of us think - All right. If the traffic is not moving, let me relax, listen to some good music, or go back to some childhood memories, remember good friends, let me make the best use of the time to relax and enjoy life. Not many of us respond in this way. We respond in stressed way whenever we come across any similar situation. This habit is taking a big toll on our quality of life.

Stress - A way of life.

We have taken stress as a way of life. Very few of us think about why they are trying to work at such a hectic pace and if ultimately, we are going to leave this world with a lot of incomplete work, why not at least work in a relaxed way? What is the use of working so much , if we kill all the joy. In search of a better tomorrow, we kill the present. Isn’t it?

Stressed work environment, stressed family life, no time to just walk around doing nothing but watch the nature…Why? It is as if we want to achieve most in the shortest possible time and therefore have no time to relax Working non-stop all the week is a way of life for a large majority. The increase in cardiac attacks, depression etc, are all the results of this stressed lifestyle. When we get stressed, we look around for the latest stress busters, latest therapies, etc. to counter the stress.

And then by the time the week ends, we again go out somewhere to relax. Sometimes holidays also tire, don’t they?

Why not lead a relaxed life all through the week?
Why not work in a relaxed frame of mind? Why get stressed?
Reflection about our own life is very essential if we want to reclaim our right to live peacefully. Will it help, if we bring some beautiful scenes of nature on our computers? Will it help, if we find time to watch a butterfly flying on our screens? The beauty of a colorful flower. Can it make us little relaxed?
If your answer is yes, download screensavers and find time to watch them whenever you find time while working. Look at them, wonder about the beauty of nature, think of their perfection and just relax.

CD Mohatta is currently a dedicated content writer for screensavers, wallpapers and ecards in all the websites of ScreeneNetwork.com. Some of them are EcardUniverse.com and InspirationEcards.com.

Can a meditation supply item help you go into a deeper state of inner awareness? If you choose the right item, there is a good chance that it can help you get more comfortable and allow you to become more relaxed.

A common problem with meditation is that many people are not flexible enough to sit in a position for a long time without starting to feel some discomfort in their bodies. If you are not comfortable in the traditional crossed legged or Lotus positions, you might benefit from one of the following meditation supply items.

Meditation Chair - This can be a very useful accessory if you tend to experience pain in your lower back when you sit for long periods of time. Chairs support your upper back and some have lumbar cushions that you can adjust to provide the maximum level of comfort for your lower back.

Meditation Bench - If your hips are not very flexible, this item can help you sit more comfortably by providing extra support for your legs and knees. Some of them tilt slightly forward to help you maintain good posture while meditating.

Meditation Cushion - This can be useful if your hips are relatively flexible but you still want to take some pressure off your legs. You can use one or more cushions so that your seat is raised high enough to allow you to sit comfortably, while still maintaining proper spinal alignment.

Other meditation supply items that might help you achieve a greater level of stillness include:

Eye Pillows - These are used when you are lying down while meditating. They are often made of flax seed covered with silk and they are placed directly over the acupressure points that surround your eyes. They relieve tension and block out light. Some include aromatherapy oils to promote a deep feeling of relaxation.

Meditation Blanket - You can use one to cover a cushion, chair, or bench. You can also use it to cover yourself during your meditation to provide you with warmth. Some are made from very soft fabrics, which help promote a deeper sense of relaxation.

Meditation Music - Using soft music can help you relax fully so you can experience a deeper meditation practice.

Meditation Timers - If you are concerned about spending too long a period of time in meditation, you will not be able to focus fully within. Set one of these timers so you can let go and be fully present in your meditation. At just the right time, you will be gently alerted that your practice time is over.

There are a variety of items that you can try during your meditation to see which ones you like and to discover which ones help you go deeper within. Remember, the goal of meditation is stillness. When your body is comfortable, then your mind has the ability to become still.

Della Menechella is a yoga and fitness enthusiast who has been involved in fitness for over thirty years. Her website http://www.beauty-fitness-yoga-source.com/ is filled with practical information about how you can make yoga and fitness a positive part of your life. Visit the site and get your free meditation e-book.

Why is staying awake while meditating important? Falling asleep is certainly relaxing, and can be good for you, but to get the full range of benefits from your meditation you need to have your brainwaves in the alpha and theta ranges. When you are asleep, your brainwaves range from theta to delta. Meditation should be a state of relaxed alertness (primarily alpha brainwaves). Try the following tips to stay awake.

1. Don’t lay down. Laying down may be the comfortable way to meditate, but it is also the surest way to have trouble staying awake. Find a comfortable posture for meditating, but not TOO comfortable.

2. Don’t meditate where you sleep. A comfy chair may be a great place to meditate - unless its the one you fall asleep in while watching TV. Anyplace where you regularly sleep is likely to trigger a sleep response in your body.

3. Create slight discomfort. If you are too comfortable to stay awake, try turning the thermostat down, sitting in a harder chair, or otherwise creating a minor irritation that will be enough to keep you awake, but not distract you too much.

4. Try meditating in a new place. Using a chair set in the back yard, or doing your meditation in the car at a nice park can be a good way to get out of a rut and wake up your mind.

5. Use an automatic wake-up position. Rest your elbows on the chair arms and have your hands comfortably up in the air. If you begin to sleep, your arms will fall, waking you up. Many meditators have used positions that prevent sleep in this way, without being uncomfortable.

Sleep is good, but meditation is more than relaxation. It should help you develop a sense of peace and relaxed alertness. If meditating has become nothing more than your favorite sleeping aid, start using these tips today to get back on track.

Steve Gillman has meditated and studied meditation for over twenty years. Visit his website and subscribe to The Meditation Newsletter at: http://www.TheMeditationSite.com/newsletter.html

Jesus says in Matthew 13:25

“But while men slept, his enemy came and
sowed tares among the wheat and went his
way”

The greatest danger that we face in the
spiritual world happens when we sleep.

There are 40 kinds of “tares” i.e. problems
that can be introduced into a person’s life
while she’s asleep.

If you’ve had any of these dreams, it’s
time to take action:

1. do you eat or drink in the dream?

2. do you have sex in the dream?

3. do you swim in the dream?

4. are you being chased or bitten by
cats or dogs

5. do you get shot at in the dream?

6. do you have accidents in the dream?

7. has anything been stolen from you
in the dream?

“I don’t dream, or I don’t remember what
I dream if I do.”

That’s a feedback I’ve been getting from an
overwhelming number of people.

But what has God to say?

In Job 33:14-18, we read:

“For God speaks once, yes twice,
yet man perceives it not.

In a dream, in a vision of the night,
when deep sleep falls upon men,
in slumberings upon the bed, then He
opens the ears of man, and seals their
instructions, that He may withdraw man
from his purpose, and hide pride from man.

He keeps back his soul from the pit,
and his life from perishing by the sword.”

So everyone dreams. Even scientists agree.

In my new ebook, “40 Common Dreams People
Have and 101 Prayers to Deal with Them,”
(due for release shortly), I tell this
true story of a newly-wedded
woman in England.

She dreamt that a blonde woman she’d
never seen before walked into her home,
made straight for her closet and grabbed
her wedding gown. She was gone
before you could say, “Jesus is Lord.”

At breakfast the following morning, she told her
husband about it. He just laughed it off.

Tell you what?

On that exact, same date two months
later, the husband filed for divorce.
He packed up and moved in with - you guessed
it - the blonde woman who first appeared
in the dream!

Dreams in the Bible

There are at least 28 accounts of dreams in the
Bible. A few of them are:

(i) Joseph had a dream (Gen.20)

(ii) Pharaoh had a dream

(iii) Solomon had a dream

(iv) The wise men had a dream

(v) Joseph was warned in a dream to run away
with Baby Jesus

(vi) Pilate’s wife had a dream

Sources of dreams

Your dreams can come from 3 sources:

- God
- Satan
- The flesh

When a dream is from God, it

- Encourages
- Assures
- Comforts
- Directs
- Instructs
- Guides
- Corrects
- Reveals

When a dream is from the enemy, satan, it is

- Absurd
- Mysterious
- Unreasonable
- Confusing
- Terrifying

When it comes from your flesh, it generally mirrors
what’s been occupying your thoughts throughout the
day, e.g.

- Negative news from the media
- Idle conversations

Danger of NOT dreaming

If you feel you don’t dream at all,
the real problem is that of recall.
If you cannot recall your dreams when
you wake up, you face a double danger:

- If God wants to speak to you, you will not hear.

- The enemy’s presence and activities in your life will

remain largely undetected.

The Result?

1. you’ll be clueless about the things happening to

you, your finances, health and marriage.

2. you may end up living from crisis to crisis, and

wondering why your prayers are not working.

More Pointers

Here are more of those dreams that have serious
spiritual implications:

- going back to your childhood days or to your old
schools
- strong winds blowing against you or your kids
- carrying strange baby
- wearing tattered clothes
- finding yourself naked
- losing your certificates
- sitting for exams and not able to complete it
- seeing strange creatures laughing at you (even
when you call the name of Jesus)
- discussing with dead relatives

What’s this all mean?

Bible says in James 1:22:

“But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only,
deceiving your own selves.”

Let’s find out what some of these dreams really
mean and what to do about them.

Dream #1 - sex in the dream

It is a disaster to have any form of sexual
intercourse in the dream. This is the work of
a spirit called spirit husband or spirit wife.

Their main purpose is to control, rule, dominate,
abuse, manipulate, plunder and dispossess the victim
of every good thing earmarked for her/him by God.

By their activities, one’s marital, social, business
and financial life will be in shambles!

Yes, they have that kind of power. And if you allow
this in your life, they will neutralize your prayers
on legal grounds - because you’re married to them,
whether you know it or not! Please don’t be deceived
that they sometimes take on the appearance of your
husband or wife.

What to do

You have to rebuke him/her in the name of the LORD.
Attack this spirit with all the weapons you know
about. Bind and stop the spirit from visiting you again.

Please be sure that you are NOT engaged in the sin
of fornication or adultery - even in your heart.
These 2 sins act like magnets, helping to attract
them to you.

Dream #2 - one recurring dream

If you have discovered that anytime you want to
touch or start something good, a partcular dream
comes up which always results in rendering all your
efforts futile, you are suffering from what we call “The
Demonic Stabilizer.”

This dream stabilizes you and keeps you at the same
level. You must use the weapon of praying and
fasting.

This stabilizing influence may not affect your entire
life, but it is a hindrance to your progress and
fulfilment in life. You need to break the yoke
behind it and set yourself free.

Dream #3 - wedding dress

If you dream of people stealing your wedding dress, or
soiling it (like stained with blood or in rags), it is a
vicious attack on your marriage.

You must go into fasting and prayer very quickly and
command the wedding gown to be returned. Then go
ahead and claim God’s promises for your marriage.

Dream #4 - being naked

If you find yourself naked in the dream, it is a sign of
disgrace or insecurity (i.e. the enemy is planning to
disgrace you publicly).

You must ask the Holy Spirit to clothe you and remove
any object of disgrace from your life.

Dream #5 - traffic jam

If you drove your car in the dream in a traffic jam
which stood still until you woke up, it is symbolic of a
major plan to hinder you from getting what God
wants to give you. This is the kind of dream that
shows you the devil’s strategy against your life.

Ask the Holy Spirit to send His troopers there
and clear the way for you.

Dream #6 - funeral service

If you frequently see yourself in funeral services, the
enemy is pursuing you with the spirit of death, period.

What to do

You have to disband the funeral service and ‘deal
with the priest who is conducting it. You should also
withdraw yourself from the service. It is not of God.
The people who are there are only pretending to be
your relatives or church members. They are all satanic
agents.

Dream #7 - eating in the dream

If you find yoursef eating in the dream (no matter
what it is) it shows you that your spiritual life is being
poisoned. You may even be eating human flesh (Ps
27:2) without knowing it. This is how terrible diseases
are introduced into the lives of people - when they
are asleep and maybe even spiritually dull!

What to do

You have to ask the Holy Spirit to purge you
immediately. This is where you need to learn to
activate the cleansing power in the blood of Jesus,
and use it aggresively!

Next Steps

Listen carefully. If you are a child of God, you
should NOT experience these kinds of dreams. But most
Christians are still having them as a result of
ignorance, carelessness or prayerlessness.

You may be asking: “But I’ve had these types of
dreams for so many years without doing anything
about it. Can I still rectify things and undo what
Satan has done?”

I have good news for you. The answer is: “Yes, you
can!”

Watch out for my emails like a hawk. Because very
shortly, I will show you a little spiritual device in
the Bible. It will give you a glorious opportunity in
the spiritual world. You will be able to use
the ONLY weapon that God has graciously made
available to His children to use against these
kinds of challenges.

Prayer Homework

I usually give some homework after this kind
of teaching. I’m seeing powerful praise reports
from some of those who are praying.

A woman prayed and reported that she saw how
certain problems entered into her life.

Another even saw the glory of God for the first time
in her life. Powerful stuff!

Here’s 4 prayer points to pray before you sleep:

1. Let every strange fire introduced into my
body in the dream, be quenched by the blood of
Jesus, in Jesus’ name.

2. Every destiny demoting dreams, be
destroyed in Jesus’ name.

3. (Lay your right hand on your head as you
pray this one) Every mask of darkness working
against my destiny, die in the name of Jesus.

4. O Lord, reveal beneficial secrets to me, in
Jesus’ name.

There are 40 common prayers people have… every night.
And there are 101 prayers to deal with them.

To learn more, visit:

http://www.firesprings.com

Be blessed!

Prayer coach Elisha Goodman helps busy people get quick results
through prayer. Learn more about his two golden key secrets that guarantee answers to your prayers at http://www.firesprings.com.

Check out his ebook packed with tips and strategies on how to attract a car, house, spouse or anything else you desire through prayer - almost everytime you pray at http://www.firesprings.com/prayer.htm

“I hope I die before I get old”

~ The Who, “My Generation”

As a junior in high school, this lyric was the motto by which I lived my life. I was 16, I had a part time job, a letterman’s jacket, a 1972 Pontiac and a mullet. What little philosophy on life I adhered to was derived from 25-year-old rock-n-roll songs. Man, I was classy.

Well, faithful reader, if you would have asked that 16 year old Marcus what is the definition of “old”, he’d have probably thrown a number at you. A number like, oh, say, 30. Well, guess what? 30 has come to stay. Yep, just a few weeks ago, the Big 3-0 rounded the corner, plopped its butt down and refused to leave. And now, 14 years after that teenage version of Marcus drove around listening to The Who, you know what I say to 30? “Come on in! I’ve been expecting you!”

What’s that, you ask? Why am I pumped about hitting the age that black helium balloons at Party Warehouse declare to be, “over the hill”?

Let me answer that question with a couple of my own:

Why are we so hesitant to move into new stages of life?

Why do we have mini-breakdowns every time we turn a number that ends with a 0?

Why, after 21, do we stop anticipating birthdays with the child-like excitement of our youth?

There is but one reason: We embrace youth and shun agedness.

Whether we like it or not, American culture has taught us to always try to look younger, feel younger and act younger. That’s all good and fine, but it’s a precarious trail to tread. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look and feel as good as possible, but we shouldn’t feel the inevitable moves to the next phases of life need to be done against one’s will; kicking, screaming and trying to hold onto the past.

As with any hesitation, shame, or dread, the reason for shunning the future revolves around one thing: fear. We’ve been taught that our best years have already past, that as we get older, no one will accept us, no one will pay attention to us and we’ll be nothing more than litter thrown out on the roadside by the younger members of humanity. To this I say, “Fooey!”

Ask anyone over 30 if they want to re-live the insecurity, awkwardness and inexperience of their teenage years. You might get a few folks who answer in the affirmative, but I’d be willing to bet the majority of us aren’t in that school of thought.

Fear of the future holds us back from embracing all of life’s past experiences. Try reflecting on the past and notice how you have gotten to this point. If you’re happy with who and where you are today - why not celebrate the road that has gotten you there?

On the morning I turned 30, I received an E mail from one of my best friends, Carrie. Her note was more precious than any tangible gift I could have received, and I think the message is one we can all learn from, no matter our age. It encompasses that idea of glancing in the rearview mirror to see where we’ve been, but more importantly, focusing on the road ahead. Now, I share her message, in her very words, with you:

Today is a good day…

For turning 30.

For feeling great in your own skin, with who and where you are,
what you do and with whom you do it.

For applauding yourself on the past 29 years
yet looking forward, excitedly, at the next 40 or so.

For doing whatever pleases you - staying in your PJs,

having an entire pizza for lunch,
calling a long lost friend or reading through old journals and love letters…

For reflecting on the long, hard road to 30 -
laughing and crying at the various road markers that brought you to today.
For remembering that it’s okay to not compromise on what you want,
what you will accept and what you will not accept.
You’ve certainly earned that right.

For thanking your parents - especially your mother -
for the privilege and goodness of the last 29 years.

For knowing that today is just the kick-start to the very best times of your life. Enjoy them - every single one.

To my friend I say, Happy 30th Birthday!

-Carrie S.

05-02-05

(Carrie, Hallmark ain’t got nothin’ on you, girlfriend!)

Today, I still believe in Roger Daltrey’s words, I hope I die before I get old. The thing is, age is no longer a number that, when reached, re-defines who we are. “Old” is when we stop caring, stop learning and stop embracing the life we’ve been given. In that case, I choose to never, ever get old.

Whether it’s from my friend’s words, or just having enough life experience to view things from a different angle, I embrace this station in life. I hope you’ll spend some time considering the past, the present and your future. Whether you are 9 or 90, take a few minutes to celebrate the place you are, learn from the past and look to the future. And, if you still can’t get over the inevitable process of life moving on, hey, its still better than the alternative, right?

Marcus Engel is a professional speaker/author who inspires audiences to achieve success by making intelligent choices. Blinded by a drunk driver at age 18, Marcus battled through two years of recovery and 300 hours of reconstructive facial surgery to reach his goal of returning to college. After graduating from Missouri State University in 2000, Marcus began sharing his story professionally to audiences nationwide. In 2002, Marcus founded his own publishing company with the release of his autobiography, “After This…An Inspirational Journey For All the Wrong Reasons.” His messages of empowerment and motivation have been witnessed by hundreds of thousands through his keynotes, his autobiography and his monthly newsletters. Marcus Engel is a speaker, a message, a story you will never forget! Visit http://www.MarcusEngel.com for more information!

“Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother … ” (John 19:25)
“The mother of Sisera watched through the window for his return” (Judges 5:28 TLB).

Jesus and Sisera ~ and two mothers whose hearts are broken … !

These two mothers didn’t know each other but their hearts were equally shattered because these were beloved sons in trouble. Mary’s Son was mocked, spat upon and crucified. Sisera’s mother didn’t even know where her son was; she sat there by the window expecting him home at any moment, never realizing that before long her life would forever change.

Both sons were betrayed. Sisera, a Canaanite captain, was murdered by Jael who thought she was doing the Lord’s work (poor God ~ He gets blamed for so much!). Jesus was betrayed by a kiss, the symbol of love and loyalty, and murdered by those who, again, thought they were doing the Lord’s work. And so we are left with two grieving mothers who didn’t know about enemies, politics, treachery and murder. All they knew was that they had sons they loved with all their hearts.

The more I thought about the juxtaposition of these two broken hearts the more I was impressed with how finally futile schemes are. In the end, beginning and middle, life comes down to mothers and fathers and children ~ and love and faithfulness and hope. This is the common bond among us all: love and a Father who loves us beyond measure, even to the Cross. What a pity human nature intervened on God’s perfect plan for our happiness!

Everyone knows that a positive attitude is key to the successful life. But what happens when things go wrong? What happens when circumstances deal us a blow? We have a tendency to let our attitudes take the dive along with our state of affairs. Life deals us setbacks, both minor and major, on a regular basis, but if we are going to be successful, we need to know how to deal with them and keep our attitudes intact! We need practical tools to help us understand how we can go about keeping our attitude up, when the circumstances are down. Here are some thoughts to help us do so:

Take some time-out. I’m sure you are aware of what happens. You are going about your day and everything seems to be going well, when out of nowhere disaster strikes. All of your best-laid plans begin to tumble. Sometimes circumstances surprise us and we react. Unfortunately, this often compounds the problem because by reacting we tend to operate out of our weaknesses instead of our strengths. We make decisions that are not well thought out. We function with a bad attitude that says, “I can’t believe this is happening!”

The next time circumstances turn against you, take some time to just step back from the problem and think. This will enable you to deal with the issue at hand rationally, instead of emotionally. It will allow you to put your state of mind back into its proper place. It gives you the opportunity to choose your attitude as you face the circumstances at hand. Remember that we don’t have to do something right now. Go grab a cup of coffee and relax little bit. By doing this you function with you being in control and not the circumstances.

Keep your eye on the goal. A second step in keeping our attitude in the proper place is to make sure we keep the important things important. One of the biggest problems with trouble is that it gets your focus off of where it should be. When I experience difficult circumstances and people ask me how it is going, I tell them, “I am just keeping my eye on the goal.” It has always been fascinating to me that when racecar drivers get into trouble, they keep their eyes straight ahead and do not move them away. There is just too much chance of wrecking that way. Instead, their eyes are on the goal, and this keeps them out of trouble. If you find yourself getting down about circumstances, sit down and write out what the goal is. Give some thought to how you can achieve that goal, or others you may have.

A man was asked how he was doing and he responded, “Pretty well, under the circumstances.” The other man asked, “What are you doing under the circumstances?” Good question. We shouldn’t be under the circumstances, we should be focused on the goal and moving forward.

Focus on solutions, not problems. The squeaky wheel gets the oil, the old saying goes. Negative circumstances don’t sit idly by. They scream for our attention. When we face difficult circumstances, we tend to dwell on them. We talk about them, fret about them, and give them way too much attention. Instead of talking about problems, talk about solutions. Instead of spending your time thinking about how bad things are, think about how good they will be! Don’t have family or staff meetings about the problems and how big they are. Have meetings on the solutions and how you will implement them. Don’t let yourself or other team members complain. Encourage them to solve, with an emphasis on the positive results that will come from doing so. Then take some time to put these solutions down on paper, so you can monitor your progress.

Get some positive input. The mind tends to build on itself, so when we begin to go in one direction, i.e. worry, it can be a slippery slope. One thing we must do is get our thoughts back on track with positive ideas. When circumstances have got you against the emotional wall, get with a good friend who can encourage you. Listen to a tape by Zig Zigler or another motivational speaker. Pick up a good book and give it a read. Whatever external influence you can get to put your attitude back on the positive side of the tracks - do it! It must be one of our first goals to start plugging good things into our minds to fuel our attitudes.

Tell yourself the good. One of the greatest internal powers we have is the power to control our thoughts. Spend time dwelling on the good things about your life or job instead of the problems. Think about positive things, things you enjoy and give you a sense of happiness and peace. There is an old childhood song that says, “Count your blessings, name them one by one.” That is great advice! Let your positive attitude develop from within as well as from without. This makes all the difference!

Remember that circumstances are not forever. Sometimes it seems like we are going to be up to our eyeballs in the situation forever, when in reality, this too shall pass. There will be a time in the future when circumstances will change and you will be on the mountain instead of the valley. This will give you a sense of hope as you live and work that will change your attitude, make you feel better and put you on the fast track for growth!

Some questions as we close:

Q. Do you have a habit of reflection before responding?

Q. Do you have a habit of keeping your eye on the goal?

Q. Do you focus on solutions or problems?

Q. Do you give yourself positive outside influence?

Q. Do you have a habit of telling yourself the good?

Q. Do you remind yourself that nothing is forever?

About The Author:

Chris Widener is a popular speaker and writer as well as the President of
Made for Success, a company helping individuals and organizations turn
their potential into performance, succeed in every area of their lives and
achieve their dreams.

To see Chris “live” at the upcoming Jim Rohn Weekend Event as he speaks on
the subject of Secrets of Influence go to
http://Chris-Widener.InspiresYOU.com/ or call 800-929-0434.

Over the years as I’ve sought out ideas, principles and strategies to life’s challenges, I’ve come across four simple words that can make living worthwhile.

First, life is worthwhile if you Learn. What you don’t know Will hurt you. You have to have learning to exist, let alone succeed. Life is worthwhile if you learn from your own experiences - negative or positive. We learn to do it right by first sometimes doing it wrong. We call that a positive negative. We also learn from other people’s experiences, both positive and negative. I’ve always said that it is too bad failures don’t give seminars. Obviously, we don’t want to pay them so they aren’t usually touring around giving seminars. But that information would be very valuable - we would learn how someone who had it all then messed it up. Learning from other people’s experiences and mistakes is valuable information because we can learn what not to do without the pain of having tried and failed ourselves.

We learn by what we see so pay attention. We learn by what we hear so be a good listener. Now I do suggest that you should be a selective listener, don’t just let anybody dump into your mental factory. We learn from what we read so learn from every source; learn from lectures; learn from songs; learn from sermons; learn from conversations with people who care. Always keep learning.

Second, life is worthwhile if you Try. You can’t just learn; now you have to try something to see if you can do it. Try to make a difference, try to make some progress, try to learn a new skill, try to learn a new sport. It doesn’t mean you can do everything, but there are a lot of things you can do, if you just try. Try your best. Give it every effort. Why not go all out?

Third, life is worthwhile if you Stay. You have to stay from spring until harvest. If you have signed up for the day or for the game or for the project - see it through. Sometimes calamity comes and then it is worth wrapping it up. And that’s the end, but just don’t end in the middle. Maybe on the next project you pass, but on this one, if you signed up, see it through.

And lastly, life is worthwhile if you Care. If you care at all you will get some results, if you care enough you can get incredible results. Care enough to make a difference. Care enough to turn somebody around. Care enough to start a new enterprise. Care enough to change it all. Care enough to be the highest producer. Care enough to set some records. Care enough to win.

Four powerful little words: learn, try, stay and care. What difference can you make in your life today by putting these words to work?

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn

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Reproduced with permission from Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine.
Copyright 2005 Jim Rohn International. All rights reserved
worldwide. To subscribe to Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine, go to
http://Jim-Rohn.InspiresYOU.com